They should really pass out barf bags in church
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
