Heybabeimwearingurpanties
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I pour the whiskey from now on
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
