So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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