Buhtt sex?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize