I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
