Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
