Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize
