Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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