and next time when you feel me up, do it right
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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