im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Is it because I queefed?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
