"it" just moved
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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