I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
