All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
