I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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