My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
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