no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
we're chasing vodka with high fives
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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