...so i touched it.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
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