so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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