If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
