This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
