dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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