smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
