What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Randomize
