So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
My penis needs a shock collar
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize