Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Randomize
