Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
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