Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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