It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
