im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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