I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
