There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
