It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
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