I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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