white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
We named our party play list daddy issues
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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