think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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