Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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