You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
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