Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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