I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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