this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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