absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I've blown a few things in my day
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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