When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
