It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
