Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
