she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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