If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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