I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
