I showed him my bush... on skype.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
