im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
the condom got lost in my hair
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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