i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
