where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i think my mom watched the whole time
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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