Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
