I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
