He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
