i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
