i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
