I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Randomize
