Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
