Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
