Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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