i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize