Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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