great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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