that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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