he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I want her autograph on my taint
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
