That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
