the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize