My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
