Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
