Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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